Today - my Mom did something so sweet for me. We had a clothes shopping date at Costco. I've been in a bit of a mad rush lately for clothes. I just donated around 6 bags of clothes and shoes to ARC, which left me with some substantial gaps in my closet. Ya don't want to fool around with winters in the Northwest. Being equipped for both low temps and snowy/icy weather is an absolute must when one lives this far North.
We did a few shopping sprees on Vacay, and definitely increased the stock value for Northface, LOL. But, I also work at a firm where I need to factor in a little fall/winter workplace finesse. Anyhow, it's enough to say my body dysmorphia is still steady and strong. I have a hard time seeing differences and my brain still magnifies every part of my body, making me feel so much larger than I am at times.
As most of you know, Costco has no mirrors. But, they sure have plenty of decent deals on clothes. I started trying on clothes, but of course how was I to know whether I looked decent in them? My mother had already prepared for this and took out her phone and said, "I know! Let me take a picture of you and then you don't have to take my word for it, you can see for yourself just how cute you look!"
I love my Mother <3
I don't know why, but for the first time today I was FINALLY able to SEE it and darned it for once if I didn't feel cute.
I've been feeling really emotional today. I'm not sure why, but I'm learning not to be to concerned with the why - just be present and let my heart hold my mind lovingly for a bit. A lot of it is just change. I'm in a transition period, and my mind often feels an inexplicable sadness and vulnerability when transitions happen. It's ironically not much different than many of the emotions I felt when I first began this journey, only it's transition into maintenance instead of weight loss.
It's a good place to be in, because it helps me to practice loving kindness with myself.
Pic on the left --> Size 2X (size 16) 205 lbs
Pics on the right --> Size 10 (medium/large) 146 lbs
