So, back at it again for 4-5 days now. & the sky literally fell Friday when hubby lost his job.
-I just typed out TMI & deleted it here-
But it doesn’t shock me that life threw this curve ball.
I am 22 pounds down since the 21st. I haven’t eaten anything in 36 hours.
I vomited the scrambled eggs I had Friday promptly after hubby broke the bad news.
Haven’t felt hungry since so I will ride that out.
I’m pretty angry at the timing of this. Not at hubby- at the universe.
I’ve been too heavy to go in a CT for years- rather hips too wide.
For two or so years I’ve been developing a weird bulge in my upper right abdomen that curves down around my navel.
I’ve had several ultrasounds over the years on it. First the dr. said they didn’t know why it was but that it wasn’t a hernia. It continued to grow. In March I was told they couldn’t see what was going on but admitted me for consultations with a surgeon but they said no surgery w/o a ct.
Fast forward to first week or so of June & I have been having weird sensations in my lump. It doesn’t burn,it’s not cramping- I keep thinking it feels like what pop rocks feel like in your mouth, fizzy. Sometimes when I turn in bed I feel a pop somewhere in it. And every few days it randomly gurgles- like when you’re hungry but not- and there’s no hunger pangs. It’s not painful- it’s just constant. If I place my hand over it I can’t feel anything in my hand, but I feel I guess digestion (but I don’t know what it is like I can feel it now at nearly 5am Subday but last ate (& vomited it) before 5pm Friday.
My hope was to loose enough weight to get a cat scan because it seems like the intensity is growing- it’s constant, but not always as strong- but it’s getting stronger if that makes sense.
My copay was paid off and at zero thanks to my March hospitalization. Now I have no insurance. I have even worse worries like rent & car payments, but I suppose this situation destroy8ng my nerves is going to help me not eat much.
- I do have multivitamins, eggs & low carb carnation drinks if I do feel hungry. Maybe tgat will improve as soon as hubby gets a new job.
Really hating and self loath8ng myself atm for just laying here & spreading for years, not contributing even after his heart failure adventure last year. Please s3nd good vibes. Including a photo of the lump.
