Diario di poison1vy, 16 mar 18

I feel this exact way. The mirror is not my friend today. I have learned to not look.... but as I'm working on my weight, I'm working on my self-esteem. I have started to try to give myself positive affirmations, since I've always done the exact opposite. I'm my own worst enemy. Hang in there. Don't give up! We can do this! 

It’s those feelings that make it hard to move forward and be positive. It didn’t happen overnight, and it will take time to change. For me, the light came on when I spoke to my brother, a bodybuilder, if you can believe that. He talked about nutrients and making each meal a choice. 

Thank u for tge words.. im not giving up. It actually gives me the senpse of anger which i will use to get my but back into shape.. just one of thise days where i asked myself, "Missy y did u do this"? . Ive always strugglled in my life, so this is just another bump in the ropad. Gonna keep at it. Thanks again..  

Yes, it's hard. I hear you there. A lot of times we speak to ourselves in very harsh terms, unfairly, designed to hurt. Speak to yourself like you'd speak to someone you care deep about. Also, when we are moving into difficult chaotic, uncharted territory, like transforming our lives, it's frustrating, difficult and fraught with failure. You will not conquer this over night. BUT, you can do something today to make it a little better. Do some little thing (not too hard, because you're not ready for anything too hard, nobody is really) that drives back the chaos. Anything that conquers some chaos is significant. And when you do, realize you did a good thing. Keep doing that every day, and you will progress towards your goal.  

It's hard sometimes to love ourselves, but it's essential. We have to forgive ourselves; and we have to own the mistakes that we have made, and the decisions that got us where we are today. Both good and bad. You can't change anything you have done in your life but you can decide to do things differently going forward. When we make changes based on love, those changes become easier to adapt. Our bodies are amazing and adaptive. They allow us to move, to grow, to love, to work, to play. I want to lose weight because I want to take care of the body that allows me to do all the things I want to do. When I look in the mirror, I see who I am; a mother, a woman, a lover, a chef, a decent person. I am not fat, I have fat, just like I have brown hair, or I have skin. Fat is not a characteristic of who we are. (((hugs)))  

Only you can stop the cycle of guilt and punishment, channel your frustrations into determination. Believe you are worth the fight. If you punish yourself with more food you lose. Change your future TODAY. 

I know how that feels, it hurts to look in the mirror and see a face that you hate, a body you hate, a person you hate. When I first started, I hated myself too. I hated that I did this to myself, that I ate myself into a size that I did not want to be. But the longer I walked the path, the longer I set out on the journey I have found things to love about myself. I have found that I am stronger than I thought, I have found that I can take a lot more temptation that I realized, I found a face of a woman who is determined. I am proud of myself, I have done something that I thought I never could, my pants are falling off! I am wearing a shirt I bought 13yrs ago and it is loose! The victories will come, and when they do, they are amazing. Someone here told me, when I first started, when you see yourself in the mirror, and you are thinking negative thoughts, imagine you are looking at a friend or a stranger that is asking you how they look. If you would not say it to me, then dont say it to you. Love yourself, be proud of yourself, and most of all, remember, we are all in this together, we are all here for you!! If you need someone to help you be strong, when you arent feeling it, come here, there are people who will lift you up and keep you there until you can find your own footing again! **HUGGZZ** 

Another thing that helps, it helped me in the past, when you start to see the negative take a moment and from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet, start naming little things that make you unique or that you think are special. I always start with my hair, its gotten long and is healthier than it has ever been, I have green eyes, which is rare. My dentist told me that I have a unique feature on my teeth...its small and silly, but it helps. Love who you are.  

It will improve and pay off. 

Thank you all sooo soo much. HUGZZZ TO U ALL.. 😍 

Don’t cry, unless those tears are crying out weakness and preparing your body FOR THE ULTIMATE CHANGE BECAUSE YOU WILL BE GOING TO SUPER SAIYAN LEVEL 3!!!!!!🤯 Don’t worry about the past, let things flow in the present, and you’ll be better off in the future. 👍🏻 

Oh my goodness girl!!!!! You are fantastic!!! Don’t you dare ever doubt yourself. God made us all in His own image and He lives us no matter what! Stay strong, and think about how many amazing things you have and how spectacular you are! 

Remember, what you look for in the mirror, you will find. When that mirror presents you with a harsh view, it's time to turn your attention to other qualities about yourself you can feel good about. You are on the path of improvement. It's twisty, it's rough, and mostly uphill, but be proud that you're traveling it.