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10 settembre 2010
Sorry I didn't get to write another journal yesterday. It was a busy day for me. I go to school for 10 hours.
So yesterday, I was really dreeding PE. As soon as I got near the room where we meet for rollcall and warmups, my instructor asked to speak to me before class started. I figured after he was done then I'd talk to him about Tuesday. Here is how that went:
"I have to apologize about the other day. It was rude and inconsiderate of me. I know that you're trying your best and I realize that you are the heaviest in the class. I am giving you credit for Tuesday. As long as you continue to do your best and you slowly improve your performance, I will continue to give you credit."
"Thank you. I had every intention of talking to you about Tuesday after class because that really tore me apart both physically and emotionally."
"I saw that in your face and I didn't mean to further tear you apart by my comment. Again I am sorry. Former students have been physically fit and capable of the strict regime of the class that I never thought that someone might have difficulty with it. I will work my best with you so that you can be successful in the class and see some weight loss results. If you ever need help, encouragement, or support I will be here if you need me. Just call on me."
"Thank you so much."
We ran a different route yesterday and I was able to jog for about 3/4mile then I speed walked. I was last again but I don't care. I am doing the best that I CAN DO. And currently that is just what I did. The instructor waited for me to get back to the check in spot then told me I was doing a great job keep it up and don't worry about keeping up with anyone but myself. I got half way thru the parking lot heading back to class and he told me to jump onto the golf cart with him. Then he told me that he expects the class to stick together when they run but not me. He said that they are physically capable of it so that is what they have to do. He also said that he won't leave me behind again.
After PE I was busy with my other classes. After school I had to pick up my son from his afterschool program. My best friend called me to go to Red Lobster for endless shrimp. So my son and I went. All day my eating was good. It was actually great and I had a lot of calories left over. I didn't pick the best options for me. But I was celebrating my successes.
After dinner we had helped my sister move some stuff into her garage. By the time I got home it was 9:30pm and my son wanted to make my hubby some french toast for dinner so I let him. It meant I didn't have to cook. LOL. After that I helped my son with his homework then went to our room. I sat down and before I knew it I was asleep. My hubby woke me up when he came into our room, he tried to be quiet but I sensed him.
I have a lot to do today as well. So I will get going and I will definitely write back later today.
Wishing all my buddies a FANTASTIC DAY TODAY!!!
(6 commenti)
09 settembre 2010
WEll wish me luck. Today is PE again. I'm going to have a talk with teacher if that doesn't resolve anything then I will be in the Dean's office. I was wishing for rain because it was super cloudy but no luck. So I have a date with "hill".
Hope everyone has a wonderful day!
(2 commenti)
08 settembre 2010
yesterday was on point for eating and water intake. I have PE first thing in the morning on Tuesdays and Thursdays. My PE class is walk/jog. The way it read in the catalog was that we would speed walk then progress into jogging. HAHAHAHA. Yesterday we had to jog up the hills that surround our college. I made it a quarter of the way up the first hill and had to start walking. By the time I made it to the top and looked around I saw some of my classmates on the down slope of the last hill heading towards the teacher for their time. So I decided to try and jog again. No luck. So I walked up the 2nd hill. By the time I reached the top of that hill I was ready to quit. I was out of breath and I was extremely discouraged because it was really hard for me to get that far. I was tempted to turn around and head back down and just quit. However, I sucked it up and began to climb the third hill. OMG it was so steep compared to the first two...and I thought they were steep. half way up I start to cry and feel sorry for myself but I kept pushing my fat ass up the hill. I noticed that a classmate was halfway up the fourth hill puking his breakfast out. he looked around and made it to the top and turned around and was encouraging me to continue. He said "it's just a little bit more, you can do it, come on you're almost there, you got this, after this little bit it's all down hill from here, you got it there you go, and good job." If it wasn't for him I probably would've given up and just stayed there till I was done crying and could breath better again. He stayed with my for about 100 yards then asked if I was ok once I answered he asked if it was ok that he start jogging again. I said yes. He was sweet because he said if not he would wait with me longer. I let him go. We were getting timed on the hill. So he took off. I was speed walking down the hill and I was about an eighth of a mile away from the teacher he looked at me and got into his golf cart and took off. I finished the course and I felt good because I DID IT! I didn't give up like I had wanted to I ACTUALLY DID IT!!! yay for me. So I speed walked to our weight room. the other students were finishing up the sets that we had to do. I was half way thru my second set when the teacher came in and announced that the students that didn't get a time for the course didn't get credit for the day. Well everyone but me got a time and the entire class knew that and when he announced that they all looked at me. I felt like a failure. I tried my fucken hardest and I still got told it wasn't worth shit. Does he realize I'm the fattest one in the class. I'm not skinny and I still can keep up with the rest of the class. Granted I couldn't run/jog the hills but I did MY BEST!
After that the rest of my day was shitty. Nothing seemed to go right and all I kept hearing in my head was that you're not good enough, you failed.
Yesterday was so upsetting so today my son and I are going to that damn hill and I'm going to climb it. My goal is to climb it 2 or 3 times today. Because tomorrow for class we are doing it again.
Ok I'm done ranting. I'll write more later. I should be in a better mood.
Hope everyone is having a great day!
(13 commenti)
06 settembre 2010
Today is my official restart date. I have been writing everything down. No more eating out. The last 2.5 weeks that we have been moving and eating out caused me to gain some weight back. So no more fast food. I will not hit my 1st initial goal of being under 200lbs. by Sept.15th. But I will definitely hit it before this year is done. I have goals and I plan on seeing them through this time around. I don't forsee any more problems getting in the way but should some occur I will try my best to make sure that they don't stop or stall my progress. Well I hope everyone has been doing a fantastic job.
(6 commenti)
02 settembre 2010
Still getting over being sick. I have this cough that just doesn't seem to want to go away. It's pretty annoying and extremely painful. Who'd've ever thought that your brain can hurt from coughing too hard?..it does!
It was an easy day today, didn't have any classes today; however, tomorrow is another story. I have class from 7:45am to 9:05pm with just 5 minutes between classes. I really have to figure out how I'm going to get my eating in on this schedule. Hmmmm??? Open to suggestions if you have any.
The move went smoothly and my room actually looks nice the way we set it up. For those of you wondering. My hubby's job cut back on his hours so he is barely working 30 hours a week. Big cut back...he used to work 60 hours a week. Needless to say we couldn't afford our home and had to let it go and move back to my parent's home. Never thought that I would be back here in a million years. But here we are. Our home was 1800 sq. ft. for the 3 of us. Here at my mom's the 3 of us are in a room about 175 sq. ft. A HUGE DIFFERENCE! We are going to make it work. We have financial goals that we hope to accomplish while we are here. I'm looking at it as a fresh start/a do over so to speak.
Anyhow enough about that. I'm a little worried about my PE class tomorrow. I thought it was a walk/jog kind of class. NOt the case, yesterday I found out it's a weight training and cross country training class. ARE YOU SERIOUS?!? Can you see how fat I am...you want me to run up the Evergreen Hills in San Jose...you must be trippin homeboy. This fatty will walk not run. I will run it once I lose a lot more weight until then I'm trying not to get injuried. And running up a hill at 240+lbs will injury my body so no thank you SIR!
Well I have to get off soon so that I can do my homework, I hope everyone had a wonderful day! Good night everyone.
(1 commento)
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